Who stole my joy

My Brother's Keeper Series

Who stole my joy

Joy is the result of everything good and adorable, once stolen tragedy follows. Out of joy stems out happiness, satisfaction, desire to share, love and care. Joy is like energy, though it can be stolen but it cannot be destroyed. Once you have it, you want to 
share it with everyone around you. Joy is contagious. You want to give it away, and as you give it away it returns to you. It gives you the will to wake up in the morning wanting to live another day. Joy gives hope and a brighter day. When it is in you, you just can't stop but want to smile and laugh all day long. But once it is stolen, a brighter day turns into grey and soon to dark.

Then you sit and ask "who stole my joy?"

My brother stole my joy. 

The one who is supposed to be my keeper, stole my joy. My house has become a prison, with that not only preventing the burglar who happened to be my brother from entering and stealing, but also prevents me from escaping if the house is on fire. With every dog bark I kick the blankets and stand guard against my brother who can at anytime storm into the house and take everything which I had worked hard for and ultimately steal my life from my children. 

My brother has become the devil I do not know. Even if I jump out of bed to scare him off he would break in nevertheless, tie me to a chair. Rape my wife. Rape my daughter. Shoot my son. Take everything that doesn't belong to him and go sell it to my other brother. 

His conscience has died. He doesn't care if my daughter is feeling the pain but he would just force himself on her as though she is a blow doll. my brother who ius supposed to take my daughter as his stole my joy.

He is my brother and he knows that too. 

Night and day are all the same to him. My house has become a prison to my family. Our streets have become battle grounds. 

Last night while I was walking down the street I saw my brother killing a man in cold blood and I didn't do anything because he would turn his gun on me. Even if I could report him to the police, my other brother who is a lawyer would represent him in court and win the case, and that would be a nail on my coffin. If the conviction in his heart didn't stop him not even the court's conviction would stop him. My brother steals my joy everyday. 

I would rather stay indoor and be attacked there than die on the streets like a dog. We are even terrorized to go to the mall because my brother is full of surprises. We might get shot by a stray bullet while my brother is running away from the robbery he had just committed. And while running away hijack my vehicle while toddler is still in its car seat. That is my brother. I know him yet I won't go to the police to report him because I want to protect him even if I got to the police my brother who is also a police would steal the docket to make sure that my brother doesn't pay for his evil deeds. My joy is gone.

The other day my brother came to my house to sell me a television set. I didn't bother to ask him where he got it from, but deep down in my heart I knew where he got it. He was selling it at a bargain price even the pawn shop won't beat his price. I sat down to watch the television with my family not knowing that my other brother is fighting for his life in hospital because of this television. I acted blind as though I wouldn't cry when my brother comes to steal it from me and leave me for death. I know him pretty well, he is my brother the thief of my joy. Yet on Sunday I would go to church and raise my hands to thank God for the television I bought on bargain. Am I a hypocrite? No I am not.

The other day I pleaded with him not to beat his wife, he went on to kick her. I looked away and said it ain't my business. She got what she deserved, yet in my heart I knew it was wrong. My joy got lesser. 

I got a call that my brother is arrested for raping my neighbours daughter, I didn't hesitate but got him the best lawyer and made a loan to pay his bail. My brother cannot go to jail even though he stole my joy. Today my neighbour's daughter is infected with HIV by my brother. But I still maintain even if he has confessed to these crimes, he didn't do them intentionally.

Every time I switch on that television which I bought from my brother, I see him always on the news. His actions all over the newspapers. RAPE! DRUGS! MURDER! ROBBERY! CORRUPTION! POACHING! RACISM! SCAMS! All these crimes and evil deeds are committed by my brother who is supposed to be my keeper. My brother is supposed to watch my back. Children lose their parents because of my brother. I lost children because of my brother. We lost our parents because of my brother. We mourned our brothers and sisters because of my brother. 

He steals my joy everyday yet I protect him. I hide him. I have that audacity to say he is not guilty until proven so by the court of law.

For as long as I do nothing to help my brother I will never have joy. Even though I hide behind the great walls he will find me and not only steal my joy but also steal my life.

I want my joy back.

Am I my brother's keeper?